Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
