i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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