Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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