Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
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Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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