omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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