I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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