How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize