no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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