Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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