I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
