if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize