someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
