More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
