the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Randomize
