I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Of course I have a pirate flag
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
