I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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