Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
