True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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