oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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