Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
