found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
