yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
