I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
i think i just naturally attract stoners
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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