do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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