how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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