sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
