the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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