I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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