My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
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I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
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I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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