He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize