Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i dont even know how to be here
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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