ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize