My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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