My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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