But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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