You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
