Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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