ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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