ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
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Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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