So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
