and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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