you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
