There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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