My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize