I'm gonna have a badass scar
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.