Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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