Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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