But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Randomize
