So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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