Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
