Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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