and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
