is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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