I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
