Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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